“My daughter is 11, and all she wants it to fit in. I know her alopecia makes her feel different. How can I help her?”

maddie1

Question: My daughter is 11 years old and has AA since she was 2. She is having a hard time now that she going to a junior high school. She is ok with her school, but she is getting depressed and I’m very worried. She wants to fit in, and to just be herself, but she is scared and confused. The school community, teachers and kid all know about her alopecia. We sent an email explaining the condition, and she has not been bullied or treated different, but she feels out of place and in constant pain. It is hard to see your kid with so much pain.  Any advice would be most helpful.

Irene, Los Angeles, CA

Answer: Irene, I am so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. I know it is so hard to see them in pain. I want you to know that it sounds like you are doing everything right-everything my husband and I did. You have educated the school and community about your daughter’s alopecia, and your genuine concern about her is both normal and admirable.  Try not to worry so much. Eleven can be a tough age especially when you are concerned about fitting in. I have a 12 year old daughter who has the same concerns, and she does not have alopecia. I want to tell you that while you are right that Maddie is doing very well, she also has her days and moments just like any teenager. One thing about Maddie though that is different is that she does not try to fit in. She is very creative and artistic where her sisters and close friends are more athletic and involved in sports. Maddie marches to the beat of her own drum. She doesn’t try to be something she is not for the sake of popularity. She embraces her differences.  Is there something that your daughter excels in, a sport, or an art, academics maybe? I would focus on that. Help her find what she is good at — what makes her different in a good way. And just support her. Remind her that she is beautiful with or without hair. That is so important, and I can tell you are already doing that.  It would help her also to meet other kids with alopecia and to know she is not alone. Please let me know what else I can do to help.

BetsyCAP
BetsyCAP